Tarboro, NC: Man who ejaculated onto windshield while driving dies after crashing into tree
A 22-year old Tarboro, North Carolina man has died in a tragic car accident after he drove his vehicle directly into a tree overnight at high speed. However, the circumstances of the crash were unusual, and investigators say the man had been masturbating at the time of the incident.
“We found traces of semen all over the windshield of the vehicle, and our theory is that the male driver had been masturbating and had just ejaculated shortly before the crash,” said one of the investigators. “Our theory is backed up by the fact he had his pants around his ankles, and his cell phone was still playing a pornographic video when the first responders were on the scene.”
Road safety experts say the death is not the first time sexual misadventures had proven fatal. “In a case last year, one man drowned after driving off a bridge while trying to suck his own penis,” said one crash expert.
“In this tragic case, it appears that the semen clouded the driver’s vision and caused him to lose control of the vehicle at a critical time, while driving at high speeds.”
The man’s name has not yet been released as investigators contact his next of kin. Authorities are pleading with drivers to take more care and not be distracted while on the road.